danger rice!

to satisfy your need to make bad decisions.

this is a hackjob breakfast which can be created with great ease even when you are drunk or very hungover. the only truly vital part is that you add way more hot sauce than seems neccessary. soon your booze related aches will vanish in a malaise of burned tastebuds and digestive problems.

4 eggs
1 cup generic white rice
1 small white onion
4-5tbsp sesame oil
1-2 tsp fish oil
1-2 tsp soy sauce
a heaping glob of vietnamese garlic/chili paste

start to steam your rice. when it's about half done, scramble your eggs up and begin to heat about half of your sesame oil in a medium wok. it's important that this sesame oil be the concentrated japanese kind. when it reaches temperature (and hopefully your rice is just about done) throw in the eggs and onions and scramble them.

toss all the rice into the wok on top of the already cooked eggs. stir it around as you add the remainder of your sauces, taking special care to ignore any episodes of good judgement which might occur when you add the chili paste. when i say chili paste i'm referring to the shit with the rooster on it. accept no substitutes. it is a hangover remedy as well as a general magic elixir.

throw in some minced ginger if you're feeling saucy or just keep some pickled on the side.

i'm sitting here and eating this dish now, along with a bottle of blueberry/pomegranate juice. it (the juice) may be the flyest shit ever to grace these lips. do yourself a favour and buy some.